An Aetiology of Anger

Anger is one letter short of danger.

How true the saying, "The anger of today is the REMORSE of tomorrow". How deeply we regret words spoken in angry impatience, words that we wish we had never said. Uncontrolled anger can be a vicious and terrible thing! Often our anger simply results from concern about ourselves, from selfishness. --We don't get our own way, our pride is wounded, or we somehow feel slighted or mistreated by others, so we become frustrated, upset and angry. Anger can be evoked by any number of personalised triggers, with everyone having their own individual “pet hates”, tolerances, and breaking points.

What is anger?

Anger is a natural response to perceived threats. It causes your body to release adrenaline, your muscles to tighten, and your heart rate and blood pressure to increase. Your senses might feel more acute and your face and hands flushed.

However, anger becomes a problem only when you don't manage it in a healthy way.

What triggers the anger

Anger triggers differ for everyone. They vary by age, gender, even culture. Triggers are often verbal or nonverbal behaviours that bring up feelings of abandonment or rejection. some common ones include situations in which we feel:

·         threatened or attacked    

·         frustrated or powerless    

·         like we're being invalidated or treated unfairly    

·         like people are not respecting our feelings or possessions    

How to Handle Anger

Whether your anger is about something that happened in the past or something that's going on right now, thinking about how and why we interpret and react to situations can help us learn how to cope with our emotions better. It can also help us find productive strategies to handle our anger. Anger itself isn't a problem — it's how you handle it. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships.

·         Consciously determine to be calm. Don't react, think! Remember your goals and respond appropriately. Choose to remain calm!

·         Communicate. When someone upsets you, tell them. Calmly talk to them about how you feel about their words or actions. Learn to express yourself better -- clear and composed. Choose to!

·         Remove yourself. Get away from the scene until you can respond without anger. Your success will not happen overnight. Take it one step at a time, one day at a time. Remember to relax. Relaxation exercises or music can be helpful. Keep in mind you can reach out to someone you trust for help. Choose to!

·         Frequently take time for yourself. Do something you enjoy like walking in the park, swimming, reading the Bible, or seeing a feel-good movie. Do something nice for someone you admire. It's okay to feel good about yourself. Choose to!

·         Look for the positives. Don't dwell on the negatives. "Don't sweat the small stuff." Don't worry about things that are out of your personal control. This is difficult, but an attitude and behaviour that can be learned!

Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.