Money Really Matters

5 things to do with your money

There are individuals who have huge surplus money, but they really don ‘t knows what to do with it or how to put it to better use.

There are individuals who have huge surplus money, but they really don’t know what to do with it or how to put it to better use. While these individuals may attract the envy of many, we believe owning money and not knowing what to do with it can be quite an unenviable situation. On the other hand, there are some investors, who don’t have a great deal of surplus money at their disposal yet are in complete control of their finances. These individuals seem to be in the driver’s seat as far as their finances are concerned and should in fact be envied instead.

While most of you would find it a little difficult to digest that there are investors who have the money but don’t know what to do with it, but that’s the truth. Don’t believe us, just look around and see the number of people with the latest gizmos, iPhone, cars, clothes and consumer goods. What’s wrong with that? Nothing at all! It’s a free world and you can own anything and everything that your finances permit you to. Do this small test, when you see someone flashing his latest iPhone or some gizmo, ask him if he has planned for his retirement, or whether he has a financial plan in place to pay for his child’s college fees 10 years down the line. Chances are that person will be keener on discussing ‘relevant’ points like the features of his latest iPhone rather than dwell on the ‘irrelevant’ issues raised by you.

To be sure, these issues (like the features of a latest iPhone) are anything but irrelevant. But money has that effect on people, it makes them want to rush towards the immediate and ignore the future. So, you have more iPhone being bought than financial plans being prepared.

So, although it’s good to have money, it’s equally important to know what to do with it. We list 5 most critical tasks individuals must accomplish with their money.

1. Do your tax planning

If you are liable to pay tax, tie up your tax planning exercise. As a law-abiding citizen paying taxes is most important and so investing promptly in the right avenue to save tax assumes importance too. An individual can save tax up to Rs 100,000 by investing in tax-saving investment avenues. These avenues range from the traditional Public Provident Fund (PPF), National Saving Certificate (NSC) and life insurance to the more dynamic tax saving mutual funds (Equity Linked Saving Schemes - ELSS). These avenues not only help in tax planning but if selected well can also help individuals achieve their long-term financial goals.

2. Plan now for your retirement

A common regret for most of us in our twilight years (apart from not having exercised enough) is our poor savings and investment track record. Most individuals wish they had saved either better or more. Planning for retirement is one thing that individuals across age groups must take up on priority. Of course, if you start at an early stage it’s even better, but the fact is it’s never too late to set aside some money for retirement.

What makes retirement planning so important for us to list it second in our ‘to do’ list? The answer to that question is the inflation. Inflation is what usually leads to a rise in prices of goods and services. If you are wondering why oil, the gas cylinder, toothpaste, eggs and even ‘idli Sāmbhar’ costs a lot more than what it used to even 5 years ago, blame it on inflation. So, planning earlier on in your life is a solution. Calculations show that even a 5-year delay in investing (Rs 10,000 annually at 10%) can make a substantial difference (as high as 40%) to your retirement corpus.

3. Get yourself insured

Life today has become a lot more uncertain than ever before. Therefore, taking life insurance is another objective that should rank high in the priority list of all individuals. Simply put, the purpose of life insurance is to indemnify the nominees/dependents of the insured against an eventuality. So, life insurance must form an integral part of the individual’s financial planning exercise. In addition to life insurance, individuals should also be equipped with adequate medical insurance.

Note that we haven’t mentioned life insurance while discussing tax planning in an earlier point. This is because it’s time insurance got its due as an independent entity unlinked to anything but your life. Our advice is don’t mix the two, don’t chase tax benefits while taking a life cover.

There are broadly three types of life insurance plans; term plan, endowment plan and ULIPs (Unit- Linked Insurance Plans), available at investor’s disposal. While ULIPs are not an ideal avenue to take life cover, term plans, the cheapest and most effective form of life insurance are best suited for this purpose.

4. Prepare yourself for contingencies

Contingencies/emergencies never announce their arrival. But that does not mean we close our minds to the possibility of their intrusion in our lives. As always, the best way to deal with such a situation is to provide for it well in advance. Such situations could possibly arise out of an accident / operation that is either not covered by Mediclaim or exceeds the Mediclaim limit or it could be another expense that you have provided for (like a buying a house) which actually falls short at the time of purchase. At times like these, having a contingency fund can prove to be a boon. How do you know how much to save for contingencies? While there is no formula for the same, having 10%-15% of your entire portfolio in low risk investments should arm you adequately during a contingency.

5. Don’t forget charity

Even before Bill Gates and Warren Buffet began doing it, charity was always necessary. If you have the money, it’s only fitting that you share some of it with the less or under privileged. Although some charities qualify for tax benefits, our advice is you ignore them and just focus on giving some money away without worrying about how you can benefit from it one way or another.

3 must-know money tips for young professionals

It’s not rocket science. Neither does it entail you living like a monk. Just follow these three tips and you are building a solid foundation.

Avoid credit card debt:

It’s time you stopped your intense love affair with your credit card or else you will rapidly be sucked into a black hole called the debt trap. It starts off as a convenience, more of a stop-gap arrangement. You pay just the bare minimum amount and walk scot free. But as you well know, or will soon learn, there is no free lunch.

Remember this. When you use your card, you pay for an item with money that is not yours. So basically, you enjoy life on borrowed money. This instant gratification can put you on a slippery slope. If you have started revolving credit, which means that you could not afford to pay your monthly bill, then the only way out of this ditch is to stop using your card till your debt is cleared.

Let’s say you are revolving your debt at a rate of 2.75%/month. This works out to an obscene 33% pa which will rapidly eat into your disposable income and dramatically hinder your savings potential. And, it will not be just the debt that you are servicing. Every single purchase you make on that card will result in the interest rate being levied.

The way out:

·         Once you start revolving debt, make it a priority to clear it

·         Stop using your card for additional spending once you are in debt

·         If you are struggling, talk to the bank and see if they are open to negotiating the interest rate

Get medically insured:

Numerous illnesses and accidents are pretty much age agnostic. So, don’t live under the deluded notion that you do not need medical insurance. Should you need it and not have it, you will watch your savings rapidly disintegrate. 

Granted, you may have a medical insurance provided by your employer. But what if you quit your job or get handed the pink slip and between jobs you fall ill or meet with an accident? What if you decide to become a consultant and the employers no longer provide medical insurance?

Get a medical cover. The younger you are, the lesser your premium so you won’t even feel the pinch. Not to mention the tax benefit. You can claim deduction from total income under Section 80D of the Income Tax Act, 1961, against premium paid towards the policy.

What’s good:

·         Existing illnesses are excluded from the cover, so being young with no pre-existing ailments gives you a complete coverage

·         When you are young you will not have to take a health check-up to qualify

·         The more years go by without you making a claim, the greater your claim bonus

Start investing:

The longer you wait, the more you lose. 

You have time on your side today, this benefit won’t last forever.

Let’s say you invest Rs 1 lakh to withdraw when you are 70. By delaying your investment by just a few years, you pay a heavy cost. Here’s how it will pan out.

Human Body Five Elements: BASIS OF LIFE

History of the Five Elements 

The fifth century B.C. Greek philosopher Empedocles originated the concept of four elements of nature:  Fire, Water, Air, and Earth. These represent the realms of the cosmos within which, and of which, all things consist.  These four elements were discussed in the writings of Plato, and the early Greek physicians Hippocrates and Galen used them to describe the four humors of the body.  A century later, Aristotle and the Pythagoreans added the fifth element, which they called Ether.  This element represents the substance of the heavenly bodies, which is latent in all things.  This element is also called Quintessence or Space.  These same five elements are also found in Hinduism, which influenced the philosophy of Yoga.  

The five elements of nature have a lot of significance in the ancient scriptures of the orient. We will try to investigate the concept of the five elements and explain the significance of the same in this article.

The Five Elements

Those of us who have studied science even at very basic level know that it classifies matter into elements like atoms (along with further subdivisions) which compose all living and non-living things in the universe.

Similarly the five elements described in the ancient texts basically are a nomenclature for a similar classification which was done as a result of extensive research by the seers. These five elements are those that we are made up of and the entire universe as well and these are the elements that we will end. They are the reality of life and they must be a part of every aspect of our life.

Names of The 5 Elements

The actual names of these elements and their approximate English translation is as follows:

Prithvi: Earth

Jal: Water

Vayu: Air

Agni: Fire

Akash: Ether

Qualities of the Five Elements 

We can use the five-element system to better understand our lives.  Each of the elements represents a different aspect of our daily life – by including meaningful interactions in each of these areas, we can have more balanced and fulfilled lives.

The five elements relate to several other symbolic systems of self-analysis:  the Personality Typing of the Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, the Astrological signs, and the Tarot cards.  All of these can be helpful tools of self-exploration.  The following chart shows how these systems relate together, including the classical assignment of each of the elements to a direction, the realm of our life that element represents, how we can use that element as a path of spiritual growth, and potential problems we may encounter if we focus our energy in one area.

The Elements in the Human Body

All the creation is made up of the five elements in different proportions. The Human body is also the product of these 5 elements in different proportions. 72% water, 12% earth, 6% air, 4% fire and the rest are Ether. Usually, the percentages of first four elements remain constant but the percentage of Ether can be enhanced. Each element is responsible for different structures in the body. Earth forms solid structures such as teeth, nails, bones, muscles, skin, tissues, and hair. These give structure and strength to the body. Water forms saliva, urine, semen, blood, and sweat. Fire forms hunger, thirst, sleep, the vision in the eyes and complexion of skin. Air is responsible for all movement including expansion, contraction, vibration and suppression. Space is the subtlest of all elements and is present in the hollow cavities of the body in the form of radio frequencies, light radiation, cosmic rays etc.

The “Prana” (vital force) in the human body is also directly connected to these 5 elements. The Law of Nature demands these elements to be in balance.

Functions of the 5 Elements Within the Body

According to Ayurvedic traditions, these five elements are also represented in our body and each element is responsible for different structures and     

 ·  The element Earth forms all solid structures, i.e., the bones and tissues, flesh and skin, and hair. 

·  Water forms all bodily fluids such as saliva, blood, sweat, urine, and semen.

·  The element Air is responsible for movement and breath.

·  Fire creates heat and drives our needs like hunger, thirst, and sleep. 

·  The Space element is deeply connected to our inner wisdom and intuition and determines our fears.       

Every one of us contains all of these 5 elements in the body – just in different proportions.  

Imbalance of the Elements is the CAUSE of DISEASES

The source of chronic (self-manifested) diseases is the impurity of any of the elements or if the elements are out of balance with another element in the body.

1. Imbalance of Water element: This is visible as excess mucus, cold, sinusitis, swelling of glands, edema of tissues, blood thinning or blood clotting.

2.  Imbalance of Earth element: shows itself as general weakness in the body, loss of calcium from bones, obesity, cholesterol, weight loss and weight gain, muscular diseases etc.

3. Imbalance of Fire element: manifests itself as fever, skin diseases like inflammation, increased coldness or heat in body, excessive sweating, hyperacidity, slow digestion and absorption of nutrients, toxins in the body, diabetes etc.

4.  Imbalance of Air element: leads to skin dryness, blood pressure problems, lung disorders, dry cough, bloating, constipation, lethargy, insomnia, muscular spasms, depression, etc.

5. Imbalance of Space element: is visible as Thyroid disorders, throat problems, speech disorders, epilepsy, madness, ear diseases, etc.

Yoga helps us purify these elements and restore balance and health. Cleansing techniques for the 5 elements are known as “Bhuta Shuddhi”. To unfold the inner powers and abilities contained in each element. Yoga also offers techniques to master all these elements – known as “Bhuta Siddhi”.

The above five elements are maintained in a healthy body in particular ratio which influence the nature, health and healing power of a person.

These books unveils the principle of “Massive Action,”

Every Lifelong Learner Should Read These High-Impact Books

Lifelong learning is the “ongoing, voluntary, and self-motivated” pursuit of knowledge for either personal or professional reasons. The pursuit of knowledge is easier than it has ever been before.

Cultivating the mind is essential for your personal growth. Digging deeper will separate you from the crowd and allow you to become a better version of yourself.

If you have ever wondered what you can do to become a well-rounded person and increase your rate of success, you will find these books useful. If you are constantly striving to know, learn and do more, these books will give you an edge in life.

“If we are hunting the highest version of ourselves, then we need to turn work into play and not the other way around. Unless we invert this equation, much of our capacity for intrinsic motivation starts to shut down. We lose touch with our passion and become less than what we could be and that feeling never really goes away.”

1) MANAGEMENT BEYOND MANAGEMENT

2) THE ERUPTION OF HELMET HEADS

3) DOSE: THE HAPPY BRAIN CHEMICALS

4) MYSTIQUE VIBRATIONS – SACRED HINDU CHANTS

5) KEEP YOUR HORMONES IN HARMONY

6) LAUGH WHILE YOU LAUGH

7) A NANO SECOND BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH

8) WISHLAND – YOU CAN WISH

9) HAIRFALL: THE PERSONALITY GRADIENT

ALL THE DIGITAL BOOKS ARE AVAILABLE ON AMAZON AND KINDLE

“The question of what you want to own is actually the question of how you want to live your life.”

The Benefits of Politeness

Humans are born with a brain that helps develop various means of communication. We are the only species of living things who can talk and exchange thoughts and ideas in the most effective manner. Hence effective communication is the key to relationship building, and polite mannerisms the key to effective communication.
In today’s modern world, there are prices for being rude. This is considered a very important way to be by a percentage of the younger generation which is a pity.

It is the first step of better cooperation to win battle.

Being polite reflects the personality that we are. It makes us look bigger, larger and more powerful than we are. Politeness is a virtue which far surpasses any other people management technique.
Politeness at workplace plays a very important role in making us more acceptable, more respectable and creating a better professional image.
Politeness at workplace plays a very important role in making us more acceptable, more respectable and creating a better professional image.
Let me tell you a story of a man whose life got saved simply by greeting the security guard who stood at the entrance of his office. One day that man had a sudden heart attack at his desk, but nobody noticed. Everyone left but the security guard came looking for him and found him in utter pain. He immediately arranged for medical care. His life was saved. When the man recovered, he asked the security guard, “How did you realize I was behind?”
The guard smiled and replied, “You did not come to wave me good bye. You always greeted me in the morning and before leaving the office.”
Well, if this could be the impact a simple greeting, then can you fathom the powers of very polite behavior and gesture being practiced daily at our workplace?
So, let’s see how we could leverage our polite conduct as an added advantage to our managerial qualities. We list down the benefits of being polite at workplace…

Politeness makes us approachable and easier to talk

Politeness at workplace makes up approachable. It will help us mobilize the synergies between various people in a team or across the teams.
Similarly, when others feel we could be open enough for opinions and discussions, we could develop a very good personnel ecosystem. There would be a free exchange of ideas that would enrich us professionally as well as personally.

Speaking politely keeps arguments at the bay

Speaking politely helps to avoid arguments. When there will be no discourteousness, there will only be discussions not altercations. This will lead to our positive self-image as well as excellent brand positioning.

Politeness projects our high EQ

Being polite reflects our control on our self. It also manifests our ability to maintain composure at all situations. This speaks volumes of our emotional quotient and projects us as people with very high levels of restraint and accord.

Job success is directly proportional to politeness

The ability to generate a good work force, motivate people to achieve targets are all the hidden in a chest, the key to which is politeness.

Polite people can regulate people actions and deliverables by their mere conduct which gives them better results personally and as a team.

Employees and colleagues willingly heed to the instructions given politely which facilitate getting the work done more easily. Simply put, adding words like, “please”, “kindly”, “would you mind” to any sentence or instruction makes it much polite than those without. People listen you with due respect.

Being polite makes us very adaptive in a new environment

Being polite makes us more adaptive as we are welcomed more easily in a new environment. People find it easier to make space for pleasant people and are always willing to help them blend into the new environment.

This is how politeness creates the magic. You can adapt and settle down quickly in your new office and you attract people to yourself.

Politeness infuses positivity in workplace

Being pleasant is a very important attribute to projecting ourselves impressively. It helps in creating a very positive aura around us that would go a long way in dynamic work environment.

Politeness can make you a leader

Politeness is one of the most important attributes that a good manager/boss must possess and develop it further always. Just like compassion, politeness is one of those must-have qualities of a good leader. It helps in the transition from some personnel to a manager very easily and then from team managers to mentors and leaders.

A Great “Cost to Benefit” Ratio

Finally, in these turbulent economic times most would argue that unnecessary strife and misunderstandings waste precious time and contribute added stress to our already high stress lives. Being polite, showing care and consideration towards others costs nothing, but the returns can be tremendous.

Remember: Being polite DOESN’T mean saying YES to everything

Being polite does not mean saying yes to everything. We must never over-commit or accept things beyond the realm of our deliverables.

That we are assertive is the key – courteous but assertive. Where not possible or not required for us to do anything, we must politely refuse. We could say, “Sorry, right now am too packed to be able to deliver what you are asking me to” or “I am sorry, but I will definitely get back”. These are subtle ways to refuse.

The whole summation is that we could be polite yet maintain our own stance at all points in time.

Your behavior is one of the reasons behind your professional as well as personal success. So, do not undermine the powers of being polite. Practice it daily.

BACK 2 BACK : 2 E-BOOKS ON MANAGEMENT PUBLISHED

Selling Ugly: Handy tips for sales personnel

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“Making money is ultimately boring. You find a formula that works, and hit the repeat button.”
Sir Richard Branson

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Brad Gilbert was a handy tennis player – never among the superstars but always around the top ten. But as a coach, he was phenomenal. He believes in the psychology of sport, and was instrumental in quelling Andre Agassi’s inner demons.
Brad Gilbert believed in “winning ugly”, and wrote a great book about it. Winning ugly is all about making the other guy lose, which is of course the same as winning. Gilbert was brilliant at keeping the ball in play, and slowing down the tempo to frustrate opponents into losing.
When Agassi played the almost unstoppable Pete Sampras, Gilbert encouraged him to lose the desire to hit the big winners. Instead he advised Agassi to simply get it back over the net and just make Sampras play that extra ball. It was exactly the right advice for the flamboyant Agassi. Pretty doesn’t always win.
Reading about Gilbert reminded me about the opening quote of this post, by Richard Branson, taken from his first book. You see, we sales people love the beautiful selling – the big pitches, the creative deal making, the exciting stretch and challenge that takes us out of our comfort zones.

**LEARN HOW TO CREATE HIGH PERFORMANCE INSIDE SALES 

Which is all good stuff. But it doesn’t always pay the bills. Exceeding your sales targets can be easier by “selling ugly”. Here are our top tips:
1) Double down on your best deals: Work out you’re the best deal shape – clients you can sell easily to, who get you, and with the best margin. And hit the replicate button. Find out more in tip 7 of this article.
2) Don’t reinvent just because it sounds repetitive to you: We see it all the time – salespeople who hit on the perfect approach and change it just for the sake of change. Don’t tinker with a winning formula. Work out how to have the same conversation more often. You can get creative in other aspects of your life.
3) Focus on the basics, not the fancy stuff: Salespeople, particularly the experienced ones, seek out advanced and quite complicated ways of selling because they think they have the basics covered. But sure enough, the quest for the ‘cream on the cake’ can often neglect the cake. What do the basics look like? How’s this for starters:

a) Get to the point quicker: You may be speaking too much. Try this for a structure: Statement, Example, Question. It will help you to vary your conversation and keep it engaging for your customers.

b) Get your pitch right: Your pitch needs to be simple enough to be understood by a six year old. And it needs to make the buyer excited, to move them to take action. Is your pitch as clear and memorable as it could be?

c) Find amazing proof points: Your customers need to hear that other customers have been incredibly successful using your products and services. You can thread nuggets of proof through your conversations that will get heads nodding and wallets opening.

d) Study your customer journey: Exactly how do your customers go through their buying cycle? And how can you be there in a clear and persuasive way at every milestone?

e) Be a social media beast: Dedicate 30 minutes every day to linking to influential people and learning the rhythm of your industry. Become a thought-leader by publishing articles and soaking up the language and challenges of your customers.

Remember, making money is boring, but someone has to do it! Selling ugly might just be the best advice you ever hear!

Management story--Important lesson for everyone working

LESSON 1

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"
So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff, and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted, "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff, and he Was also gone.
The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."
*MORAL OF THE STORY IS: “ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSSES TO SPEAK FIRST"*

LESSON 2

Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive.
He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy."
*LESSON II - NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING. *

LESSON 3

An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA When the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?"
The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean."
The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you? “Again, the Japanese was confused over his question.
The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you .... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese! etc.......???"
The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am Japanese. “A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind of 'key' was he.
The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee'am I?!"
The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkey, or monkey?"
*LESSON III - NEVER INSULT ANYONE. *

LESSON 4

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle,
He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you A wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of Water to become, and then your wish will come true."
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE”. The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so Happy swimming and drinking from the pool.
Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and Immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next, and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool.
The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly He steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........."
*LESSON IV - THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMESACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN. *

Now for the grand final lesson

LESSON 5

The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:

Brain......... I should be in charge because I run all body functions. Blood........ I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain. Stomach... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain. Legs......... I should be in charge because I take the brain where it wants to go. Eyes......... I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it’s going Asshole.....I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.
All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad.To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.
Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in charge.
*MORAL OF THE STORY: NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINKYOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE.*

Six Business stories (With Morals) - Funny

Six Business morals and Ethics Funny Stories with Morals

Here are the Business morals and Ethics which required to avoid some repeated mistake. These Morals are explained from amazing interesting stories. Some funny story which taught Business Morals and Ethics. Check out now -

Lesson 1: Naked Wife
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,

“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next-door neighbour,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be able to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the admin. clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 3

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Lesson 4

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.


Lesson 5: Power of Charisma

A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally, after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.


Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!


*EXTRA* Lesson 7: Popularity can be harmful

A man decides to write a funny and informative collection of stories meant to drive home some interesting life lessons. While he was writing them, his wife came by and asked what he was doing. He explained to her that he wanted to send his friends something interesting to chat about at work the next day. His wife advised him to post it on an internet blog for fun. The husband took her advice, but negligently set up his own server without properly analysing the potential for an instantaneous burst of Digg traffic. The site, therefore, went down in flames hosting a few paragraphs of text.

Moral of the story:
Don’t listen to your wife.

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Even if u answer **Seven** (with some exceptions) questions its great...Feel proud....

1. What programming language is GOOGLE developed in?
2. What is the expansion of YAHOO?
3. What is the expansion of ADIDAS?
4. Expansion of Star as in Star TV Network?
5. What is expansion of "ICICI?"
6. What does "baker's dozen" signify?
7. The 1984-85 season. 2nd ODI between India and Pakistan at Sialkot - India 210/3 with Vengsarkar 94*. Match abandoned. Why?
8. Who is the only man to have written the National Anthems for two different countries?
9. From what four-word expression does the word `goodbye` derive?
10. How was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu better known?
11. Name the only other country to have got independence on Aug 15th?
12. Why was James Bond Associated with the Number 007?
13. Who faced the first ball in the first ever One-day match?
14. Which cricketer played for South Africa before it was banned from international cricket and later represented Zimbabwe?
15. The faces of which four Presidents are carved at Mt. Rushmore?
16. Which is the only country that is surrounded from all sides by only one country (other than Vatican )?
17. Which is the only sport which is not allowed to play left handed?

Scroll down for the answers:

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1. Google is written in Python
2. Yet Another Hierarchy of Officious Oracle
3. ADIDAS- All Day I Dream About Sports
4. Satellite Television Asian Region
5. Industrial credit and Investments Corporation of India
6. A baker's dozen consists of 13 items - 1 more than the items in a normal dozen
7. That match was abandoned after people heard the news of Indira Gandhi being killed.
8. Rabindranath Tagore who wrote national anthem for two different countries one is our 's National anthem and another one is for Bangladesh- (Amar Sonar* *Bangla)
9. Goodbye comes from the ex-pression: 'god be with you'.
10. Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu is none other Mother Teresa.
11. South Korea.
12. Because 007 is the ISD code for Russia (or the USSR, as it was known during the cold war)
13. Geoffrey Boycott
14. John Traicos
15. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln
16. Lesotho surrounded from all sides by South Africa
17. Polo.

Manager’s Advice – Funny Story !!!